Convert ‘I failed’ to ‘I didn’t get it right this time, I will learn from this’.
Unhelpful self-talk can easily aggravate your stress. When you might be grumbling internally, or, even worse, criticizing yourself, you can become stuck in a negative feedback loop. So, when you are tempted to think you have ‘messed up’, how about turning that around by focusing on any lesson you could have learned, and then commit to applying that next time. Our beloved Nelson Mandela said: “I never lose – I either win, or learn!”
As you feel the stress building up, the answer is to pause and look for something positive in that very situation. Then you will be better able to reframe it for yourself to include the good stuff. Now you can experience the situation with a big picture view that includes ‘the good, the bad and the ugly’. This will enable you to find smarter solutions. So, an example might be having been reprimanded for including incorrect information in a report. Yes, that was unfortunate, but now you might have the opportunity to ask for support from the ‘experts’. Reframing the problem in this way will enable you to build more significant relationships, and in so doing you might even find a better way of reporting. So, just go back and perfect that report. Rather than crumbling in the face of your mistake, build your confidence while you grow.