0861 THEBEMED [email protected]

0861 THEBEMED

Thebemed Logo

Accessible Care . Affordable Prices

Thebemed Wellness Cafe’

How to ask for help when you’re feeling down

Oct 5, 2021 | The Juice, Thebemed

Thebemed Wellness Cafe’

Don’t suffer in silence

Don’t struggle in silence. Take your power back

“Please help me.”

When was the last time you said these three words? All of us need some support during our lives here. Help is sometimes practical – like moving furniture or carrying grocery-bags. At other times, all you want is a hug, or some emotional support.

Although it’s normal to need and ask for support, many of us can find it hard to do so: especially when it comes to our mental health.

Reasons we resist asking for support

We want to be independent

From childhood, we are gradually taught to ‘stand on our own two feet’. With every next milestone we feel a bit more empowered, and so a little less dependent on others. It’s easy to think: “If I ask for help, I am going backwards in life.” In reality though, we always need others. If you practice asking for small favours it will be easier to ask for bigger ones in future.

It can be hard to give up control

When asking for support, we make ourselves vulnerable. We may fear that others won’t understand, or that they will judge us and so make us feel even worse. Actually, asking for what you need is a way to take back control. It takes courage to truly recognise what you need, and to ask for it.

What if they reject me?

Another common reason we don’t ask for support, is that we fear rejection. Although it’s entirely possible for someone to say ‘no’ to your request, it is also possible for them to say ‘yes’. In fact, studies show that we underestimate other’s willingness to help by up to 50%!

How to put yourself out there

Although we know it’s good to ask for help, and make our needs known, it can still be difficult to do so. Here are some practical pointers to support you:

  1. Be clear about what would make you feel better. If you just say: “I feel down”, it can be hard for someone to help. Instead, make your request clear. E.g. “I need to talk to someone”; “I would like a hug”; “Could you come over and work at my place? I’m feeling lonely.”
  2. Share your story. We can get so trapped in our own experience that we assume others simply must understand. Instead, tell your support-network what is going on for you, and how it makes you feel. When they understand, it will be easier for them to support you.
  3. Make it easy to meet your needs. We don’t always need an intense form of support. Something small can feel very emotionally supportive; like a joke, a phone-call, or just watching a silly movie together. Find a ‘low-cost’ favour that will make you feel better and ask that from your friends. You may both walk away feeling better!

Please note: If you are in an emotional crisis, it may be too hard to reach out to people you know and trust. You can always try any of these help-lines as well:

  • Adcock Depression & Anxiety help-line: 0800 70 80 90
  • Akeso Psychiatric response 24/7 : 0861 435 787
  • ChaiFM Helpline : 0800 24 24 36
  • Cipla 24hour mental health helpline: 0800 456 789
  • SADAG Suicide prevention line : 0800 567 567
  • South Africa Suicide Crisis helpline: 0800 21 22 23 / 0800 12 13 14

Resources:

“I’m fine”

When people ask how you are, the easiest response is to say “I’m fine”, even when you’re not. In fact, a recent study of 2,000 adults revealed that the average adult will say “I’m fine” 14 times per week, yet only 19% actually mean it.

There are several reasons for defaulting to the “I’m fine” answer, but for someone struggling with a mental health illness, the fear of being judged, discriminated against, or stigmatised for their honesty, outweighs any benefit of sharing their emotions.

The truth is, being honest about how you really feel puts authenticity and meaning back into conversation. By opening up you will realise that you are not alone in your journey, and through this, healing can begin. Watch ‘I’m fine’ with Jake Tyler below, or CLICK HERE to watch.

 

Latest Posts

Trust your gut

Trust your gut

If you’ve ever ‘…gone with your gut’ to make a decision, or felt ‘butterflies in your stomach’ when nervous, you’re likely getting signals from an unexpected source: your second brain. Hidden in the walls of the digestive system, this ‘brain in your gut’ is revolutionizing our understanding of the links between digestion, mood, health, and even the way you think.

We are all a little mental – let’s break the stigma

We are all a little mental – let’s break the stigma

Ever wondered what the most burdensome disease is in the world today? According to the World Health Organization, the disease that robs the most adults of the most years of productive life is not AIDS, not heart disease, not cancer. It is depression. As with many conditions, mental health is widely misunderstood.

Lifestyle prescription for a healthy heart

Lifestyle prescription for a healthy heart

In South Africa, chronic diseases such as heart disease, diabetes, and high blood pressure are now responsible for more deaths than HIV/AIDS and tuberculosis combined. Approximately 225 South Africans die from heart disease every day, while around 10 people suffer a stroke every hour!

Do’s and don’ts of depression support

Do’s and don’ts of depression support

In 2020, the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) received well over three hundred thousand calls asking for help and support – that’s more than three times the capacity of the FNB stadium.

How do your emotions affect your health?

How do your emotions affect your health?

Slow down for a few seconds, tune into your inner experience, and ask yourself: “How am I feeling right now? Sad, angry, happy, hopeful, excited, anxious…?”
On an average day, we are often so busy focusing on tasks that we don’t pay attention to our emotions. And yet really, our emotions can actually affect our health.

You May Also Like:

Trust your gut

Trust your gut

If you’ve ever ‘…gone with your gut’ to make a decision, or felt ‘butterflies in your stomach’ when nervous, you’re likely getting signals from an unexpected source: your second brain. Hidden in the walls of the digestive system, this ‘brain in your gut’ is revolutionizing our understanding of the links between digestion, mood, health, and even the way you think.

read more