0861 THEBEMED

Thebemed Logo

Accessible Care . Affordable Prices

Thebemed Wellness Cafe’

Resilience. Navigating life’s challenges with strength AND growing wisdom.

Oct 29, 2018 | Blog

Thebemed Wellness Cafe’

Simply being ‘tough’ can leave you feeling hard, unyielding and scarred. Real resilience is about also gaining wisdom so that you can remain standing and enjoy life, even when hurtful things happen.

As the pace of change in the world of work speeds up, the future becomes less predictable. To be able to guide yourself through this state of uncertainty with confidence and positive expectation, it is important to develop the capacity to be resilient. This capacity is all about learning quickly and gaining wisdom in the learning process.

There are four phases in the learning cycle; (i) conscious and (ii) unconscious competence; (iii) unconscious and (iv) conscious incompetence. Competence relates to good habits; knowing how to act and achieve the desired results. Incompetence relates to bad habits; realising that the situation has changed, and you must act in a different way.

The usual way of finding that your actions no longer work is through criticism by others. Positive criticism focuses on the actions that produce undesired consequences; it helps identify ways of achieving the desired result. Negative criticism tends to focus on the person; restricted to the undesired consequences. Resilience is about learning to deal with both forms of criticism and remaining in a positive emotional state.

Most actions that produce negative consequences do not come from bad intentions. Whilst the action might have been effective sometime before, somewhere else, or in a different situation; times have changed. New work requirements, or technical changes simply need to be handled differently. So, the best way to view criticism is to simply see it as feedback. Somebody said: “Feedback is the breakfast of champions!”

Here is the key to resilience. When your response to criticism is defensive, you will tend to stay in unconscious incompetence. You might pretend to be ‘tough’, but you will often deny your responsibility and project it on to ‘the system’ or to ‘others’. You might even want to find someone else to blame. The problem is that you still remain the victim.

However, when your response to criticism is to focus on the learning opportunity, you are being wise. You will be in conscious incompetence, meaning that you accept your responsibility. Now you take personal ownership of the challenge and are prepared to reach out and ask for help. You are willing to try something new. That’s the resilient response – and then you’ll be on your way to conscious competence – and have mastered a better way.

So, think about it; the quality of your work relationships will influence not only how prepared your colleagues are to give you the feedback you need to improve and grow, but also influences how sensitively you will be able to offer positive criticism to others. So, not only are you becoming more resilient, you’re becoming smarter and wiser – and so is the team.


Was this helpful?

Latest Posts

Nurture your inner child, no matter your age

Nurture your inner child, no matter your age

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.’ A cliché? Yes, but there may just be a dot of truth to it. Everyone knows that play is good for kids. It promotes physical and mental development and provides an opportunity for healthy social interaction. But as kids get older, time for free play gets less, until adulthood, when it just about disappears altogether.

Is addiction ruining your family?

Is addiction ruining your family?

We usually think of addiction as something extreme; associated with drugs, alcohol or substances, but you can become addicted to many different things.
For many years experts believed that only alcohol and certain drugs could lead to addiction.

Youth unemployment blues

Youth unemployment blues

In 2020, the unemployment rate in South Africa jumped by 30%. With 7.2 million unemployed people in the Rainbow Nation, it’s possible that your child is one of them.
Given the challenging situation we’re all in, there is no shame in not having a job. But, if you’re the one job-hunting for months without success, you can start to doubt if you’re really good enough.

Be your best

Be your best

When you hear the word “exercise”, its natural to think of the physical benefits: the stronger heart, the lower blood pressure, the six pack abs and, of course, the active wear! There is no doubt that exercise has numerous physical benefits, but it also produces a more powerful mental and emotional state.

Stop the work worry and get some shut-eye

Stop the work worry and get some shut-eye

Lying awake at night with a head full of worries is something most people have experienced at least once in their life. There are worries about work, worries about family, worries about finances, and then of course worries about COVID-19.

You May Also Like:

Nurture your inner child, no matter your age

Nurture your inner child, no matter your age

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.’ A cliché? Yes, but there may just be a dot of truth to it. Everyone knows that play is good for kids. It promotes physical and mental development and provides an opportunity for healthy social interaction. But as kids get older, time for free play gets less, until adulthood, when it just about disappears altogether.

read more
Youth unemployment blues

Youth unemployment blues

In 2020, the unemployment rate in South Africa jumped by 30%. With 7.2 million unemployed people in the Rainbow Nation, it’s possible that your child is one of them.
Given the challenging situation we’re all in, there is no shame in not having a job. But, if you’re the one job-hunting for months without success, you can start to doubt if you’re really good enough.

read more